37: The irony of climate change and the isolation of UNEMPLOYMENT with Mona

37: The irony of climate change and the isolation of unemployment with Mona (@journeyofakhalifah)

I’m not for the animal testing but the reference for the estimated ability to detect a trillion inputs is herein:

“On the Dimensionality of Odor Space” by Meister

Podcast episode on which Mona previously spoke with Suhaib Webb

Last legitimate threat to a “hegemonic monoculture” by Eeman Abbasi

Celeste Headlee’s comment about Henry Higgins’ “My Fair Lady”

Curious Awareness: the solution to breaking bad habits by Judson Brewer

The power of originals: TED talk by Adam Grant, author of “Originals”


32: We and Jameela Jamil are on the same wavelength, i.e. why rejection physically hurts, pessimists, GOATS and plantains

learned optimism

32: We and Jameela Jamil are on the same wavelength, i.e. why rejection physically hurts, pessimists, GOATS and plantains

Learned helplessness experiment by Seligman and Maier

The dogs actually hit or could hit panels with their snouts, not buttons, as far as I could discern.

Another clarification: I only had to pick up two of the three boxes at most.

Greater innovation from more racially and gender diverse companies: Do Pro‐Diversity Policies Improve Corporate Innovation? by Roger C. Mayer, Richard S. Warr and Jing Zhao

Speculation about why made by Richard Warr

CBC News: The National: “Is a University Degree a Waste of Money?”

The “learned optimism” quiz

Dr. Martin Seligman’s book is called “Learned Optimism”

The Hewlett-Packard study Sara mentioned

“The Importance of Being an Optimist: Evidence from Labor Markets” by Ron Kaniel, Cade Massey, David T. Robinson

This is the research for the dispositional optimists and job hunt and career success correlation.

“The Optimism Bias” by Tali Sharot

This is the TED talk Sahara referred to when she talked about the cartoon with the penguin/s who “flew.”

The Confidence Gap: research showing women underestimating themselves despite having abilities essentially matched to that of men

Couldn’t find study about singles taking twice as long to recover from infection but found corroborating evidence of such a conclusion: 1 and 2.

Sociability and its physical impact on the heart

“Why rejection hurts so much—and what to do about it by psychologist Guy Winch

“Social rejection shares somatosensory representations with physical pain” by Ethan Kross, Marc G. Berman, Walter Mischel, Edward E. Smith and Tor D. Wager.

This is the study where people were put in FMRIs and asked to remember when they were rejected.

Hiring recruiter mentioned is Sue May, a graduate of Princeton University; you can listen to more of her on the podcast under either of the first two She Roars episodes.

31: Obama's clothes, should I have went to Harvard (eyeroll emoji), watching a video of a blank, white wall and some of the science behind empowering yourself

Making a decision


“Drowning in Jam: How to Conquer Decision Fatigue” by Jane Hu


“The Ten-item wardrobe | Jennifer L. Scott | TEDxStGeorge”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3CLRL32Mcw

“The Scientific Reason why Barack Obama and Mark Zuckerberg wear the same outfit everyday” https://www.businessinsider.com/barack-obama-mark-zuckerberg-wear-the-same-outfit-2015-4

The marshmallow test: https://www.apa.org/helpcenter/willpower-gratification.pdf

30: Heroism, color, colonialism, and an under-your-nose #lifehack

Now hear me out:

I was in my inbox, lingering as I do when I’m disappointed at not having receiving responses I was hoping for but not quite ready to leave, almost as if optimism is a loiterer who knows full well there’s no legitimate reason for her to be there but can’t find a legitimate enough reason to leave

This is one of the inboxes I go to after leaving my business inbox, my main personal account and of course, what do I see but an email, a trusty alumni newsletter

If you’ve graduated and partly enjoyed your experience at school but also partly really really really didn’t, you may understand the feeling I had when I for some reason that I may never truly understand I opened that email

Maybe the feeling of rejection mentioned earlier prompted me to seek out some sense of community, no matter how false it is.

Anyway—if you’re wondering, yes, I highly recommend my alma mater to anyone who asks or doesn’t ask and yes, that person could probably get away with never buying a meal plan and simply subsisting off of the free food that circulates so consistently and reliably on campus

I’m sure the free food listserv still exists as do other probably unprecedented sources of deliciousness

So, in my alumni newsletter I think, I don’t know because I very rarely open it, there’s a pretty consistent roundup of new books written by Princeton alumni.

I scrolled through the list, pausing slightly during my scroll for some (books) and eventually rescrolled back to the top because isn’t that what you do to force something interesting from where it doesn’t seem to exist.

At the top of the list is a book called “Joyful.”

You may be thinking, “what kind of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves-sounding name is that?”

Ecosias Seven Dwarves names to see if Joyful was actually one if them

Ecosia is another search engine because I hate Google and Ecosia plants trees the more I use it so it helps me feel environmentally woke…


Back to this book called “Joyful.”

Do you remember when I said that Anne Helen Petersen said about millennial burnout: “I never thought the system was equitable. I knew it was winnable for only a small few. I just believed I could optimize myself to become one of them.”

I believe your chances of winning the system depends on what system you’re looking at and in short, I want to optimize you to win.

So, back to this book called “Joyful.” Now, you may be thinking this is some self help nonsense that lost souls furtively buy into to masquerade the shame of not having reached their full potential because society says if you’re not the best, you’re a loser—there’s no in-between.

First of all, I don’t subscribe to this. Someone once said, and this probably not verbatim, “you’re going to grossly underestimate the time it will take you to get from where you are now to where you want to be.”

At the same time, some self help forces you to look at the world in a categorically different way—in a way that runs counter to potentially baseless, mainstream perspectives.

“Joyful” isn’t self-help as much as it is narratives intertwined with research driven by a catalytic story.

You can here about that story in the free preview of her book.

The author Ingrid Fetell Lee stumbled onto or was destined for an amazing realization, one that’s right under your nose.

Happiness or rather joy, which is instantaneous unlike happiness, a putatively chronic state, can be derived from…objects.

This flies in the face of modern psychology, which says…

habit change



These are the ways by which you can alter your inner state to achieve happiness.

Listen to the audio for more.

28: Millennial perfectionism, Marie Kondo, Elaine Welteroth, helicopter parenting, and instagram

Millennial Perfectionism, Marie Kondo, Elaine Welteroth, Helicopter Parenting and Instagram

28: Millennial perfectionism, Marie Kondo, Elaine Welteroth, helicopter parenting, and instagram

Let’s talk about Kondo

Less is more. If you optimize your personal space, then the rest will follow…you hope at an intangible, unconscious level. This idea, Sophie Gilbert in her article “Millennial Burnout is Now Being Televised” appeals to millennials because of the expectation upon us to seek perfectionism. Apparently, our generation demonstrates more perfectionism than earlier generations—the 2017 study specifically says “recent generations of young people perceive that others are more demanding of them, are more demanding of others, and are more demanding of themselves.” Especially since the hallmarks of adult life: graduating on time, owning a car or a home have become so much more fraught for us. What with the initial 2000s-present teetering of the economy and the trillions of dollars of student loan debt.

Technology and helicopter parenting are the real sources of millennial burnout, according to Mark Thomas in his Medium article, “The Origins of Millennial Burnout.” He posits we need a “radical shift.”

He and Anne Helen Petersen, author of the viral Buzzfeed article “How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation” argue that such burnout will not be solved by self help solutions like “anxiety baking” and life hacking.

This burnout phenomenon, implicating millennial perfectionism and our pursuit of modern trappings of success reminds me of a recent interview featuring Elaine Welteroth, former Teen Vogue EIC and journalist—her solution is what she believes God’s purpose for her life is and is what she uses to detach and unloop, un-dopamine fueled technological feedback loop herself from the stakes that people, followers or not, plant or don’t plant in her identity by liking or not liking, by hearting or not hearting, by thumbs-up ing or not thumbs-up ing.

Petersen herself in that article wrote “I never thought the system was equitable.”
“I knew it was winnable for only a small few. I just believed I could optimize myself to become one of them.”

A clip of that interview housed on Elaine Welteroth’s instagram page has 56,796 views and 249 comments last I checked.

And was in response to a question posed by Natalie Manuel Lee “Do you believe that what you do is who you are” for the show, Now With Natalie on the Hillsong channel.

What preceded what I described of Welteroth’s soul-vibrating response was the statement “absolutely not.”

These researchers, writers, and influencers have propelled me into a single impetus of a thought: you’re gonna have to Kondo your life.

As you likely know, the Kondo method created by Marie Kondo, an “organizational consultant” whose book about that method, “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up” has sold over 11 million copies encompassing 40 countries and is the basis of not only a culture-perfusing Netflix series but probably also record rises in stock at donation centers and over 229,000 submissions to the “konmari” hashtag on Instagram.

The crux of the method, presumably the book, and ostensibly the show is that you’re supposed to ask yourself whether the objects you’ve hoarded or allowed to clutter/purposelessly infiltrate your space “bring you joy.”

I’m going to go a step further.

@ me or don’t but here goes.

You may need to do this with your inner life as well.

Your physical space should be clean—I think we humans are generally in agreement on that.

But what about your perceptions, your ideas, and the expectations others have of you.

#konmari those things.

I think that would solve or at least ameliorate errand paralysis
Decision paralysis
Internet and social media black holes
The effects of helicopter parenting
The dependence on extrinsic motivation
Social, familial and/or technological rewards
Instant gratification
Behavioral addiction
The glorification of working or overworking
That boredom is a problem

Kondo these things.

Let’s even extend this to minority burnout.

But wait. Wait.

The root and roots and trees and seeds and branches and fingers of minority burnout seem to be injustice which yes, hinges on the perception and expectation of the individual but is a relation that involves others.

So for this one we and when I say we I mean as a group; I’m not referring to every existing individual—are going to have to Kondo our interior lives so that the world necessarily becomes Kondo’d, i.e. cleaner, less burned out, less overworked, less paralyzed, less dependent, less unjust.

Let’s #konmari ourselves:
Intellectually—what books aren’t you reading; what hobbies aren’t you trying because we have to excel or don’t attempt in the first place; it’s ok. Be bad at archery—just make sure no one’s within a five-mile radius of you.
Spiritually—this is not a spiritual or religious space per se so I’ll leave that to you to explore.
Emotionally—maybe you or I have been avoiding therapy for years knowing full well we will probably not be empowered to have fair relationships without it; maybe you’re someone who doesn’t think you’re emotional and physical selves are inextricably tied—they are; says science and more irrefutable sources so stop with the full fat ice cream binging that occurs subsequent to like any organic chemistry exam you take; try 99% fat instead.

In moderation of course.

25: instant gratification, immigrants and assimilation, being cheap: I mean financially selective and the Generational battle between stem and the arts

part two of three of the conversation with author, Sara Bawany

Sara Bawany and Skiveo

episode notes and references (some):

generations beyond us advantage of having a long objective and thinking in larger versus smaller units (credit to Sean McCabe for latter)


why our immigrant parents were able to withstand the abuse, harassment, and assimilation

women and woc being expected to work for free and happily/eagerly at that

frugality, i.e. being “selective” with your money

the Prophet (PBUH) had a pulpit for himself and the poet in the same mosque

how does a therapist deal with the psychological/psychoemotional fragility that can come with social media

give that kid more credit: “People will find easy that which they were made for.” The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH)

24: Becoming your own marketer, how to write your first book, brown doesn‘t mean premed, and a class about models

24: Sara Bawany: becoming your own marketer, how to write your first book, brown doesn‘t mean premed, and a class about models


episode highlights and references:

what does it take to publish a book: 24 year old with a book on Amazon

the advantages of self-publishing over traditional publishing

the marketing-social media game: ghost followers, quality versus quantity, follower count, does it ever stop once you reach a certain number, vanity metrics, generations from now beyond your existence you could impact someone more intensely than during your life (also an idea from Sean McCabe)—great artists becoming famous posthumously

the writing process—how different writers come to the page

brown kids or immigrants generally—the battle between STEM and the arts—how did this originate (want to say where did this STEM from but the use of pun would undermine the seriousness of the discussion we had regarding this?)

it’s okay to be mediocre at something or even some things: referred to the following article during the show